Chicken Little Hysteria Hour

The other night, for some reason that still escapes me, I was watching the Chicken Little Hysteria Hour on Animal Planet. I nearly choked on my Meow Mix when Chicken Little began shouting, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling."

Now, this clucker has been making similar predictions for years, and she's done nothing but lay eggs. Apparently, she thinks some of us don't take notes.

Lets look at a few facts. Take a look around you. What do you see? Paint. Go outside and take a look around. What do you see? Paint. Turn on the television, and unless you are watching some program showing wildebeasts frolicking in the mud, what do you see? Paint.

That is right folks-- paint is everywhere. And how to you think it got there? It didn't just jump out of the can and apply itself. It took skilled craftsmen, or in our case, incompetent derelicts, but you get the point.

Now some of you may have heard reports of a credit crunch, a housing melt down, a bear market, tomatoes rotting in Mexico, and assorted other economic bad news. This may have you concerned, and it should if you are one of those contractors that charges high prices and does good work.

A lot of people are in a panic, and the last thing they want to do is spend a lot of money on having their house painted. But because we offer the cheapest prices within ten states, we have no worries. In fact, we are looking to expand our business.

So I suggest you take a close look at your business model. You need to start cutting your expenses with a chain saw. If you can do that, you might stand a chance.

Captain Otto

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